She sat there, her throat choking up, feeling the panic arising.
What had happened?
Did someone say something to you? Was someone mean? Did something bad happen?
She sat there, the panic slowing arising, she shook her head.
No-one understood. No-one got it.
‘Why is it giving you panic?’
‘So you mean the thought of being with your friends gives you panic?’
‘Everything is so amazing! Why is that making you anxious?’
No-one got it. Neither did she.
‘Don’t go. Come back.’
‘I miss you.’
‘I just came for you! Don’t go !’
‘You are the cutest’
‘You are the only person I’d rather have a breakdown with’
These words. These very sweet words. These words made her anxious. People made her anxious. People liked her. Why did they like her? Why did they want to spend time with her? This wasn’t supposed to happen. She is not this person. She doesn’t like this at all. She is supposed to keep everything in. She doesn’t feel comfortable sharing her troubles, her problems, her life. She feels suffocated because everyone is always so nice.
It’s such a bad thing. It’s not that she isn’t grateful.
She loves this and she loves everyone.
But, why? And how?
Don’t take it away, she says. Just, take me away ,please?