Online Lonely

I think it’s safe to say I am gaining experience of the modern-age, first world kind of world. I have been here, in America, as a college student for the past 3 months and roughly 9 days now and I finally see how I have changed.

It’s like I am a competent cell who took up the surrounding virus and is now transformed. (I beg your pardon, but I hope my fellow geeks appreciated this joke)

I am in an online lonely world. I have many friends, who I meet almost every single day, but our interactions too depend on the iMessage in our iPhones.

We tag each other in funny posts on Facebook as a reminder that yes, I am thinking about you, even though I cannot meet you right now.

We virtual hug one another when one person is down and the other one is in class.

I spend the entire day shuffling around from class to class, all of which give homework online. I use my calendar on my iPhone and my Mac to keep a check of my day (obviously sync them both).

When I feel blue, I jam to feel-good music on the internet. When I feel disconnected, I go on to Yik-Yak and either vent out my feelings or relate to other people online.

I keep in touch with my family back home by video-calling them and instant messaging them.

My roommate and I, on separate beds, 2 feet apart, chat on Facebook or send each other useful links every night, just because we are too tired to physically talk. But, of course, we are not tired of the online world.

This makes me terrified sometimes. I’ve been thinking.

What if I cut myself off from this world? Would my friends disappear? Would I disappear? What would I be then? What would I do? My entire life revolves around being online now.

What if I decide I’ve had enough? Enough of people, enough of myself?

Would I go away if I wasn’t online?

Well, I care too much about school to do any of this but it does get me thinking.

I do feel overwhelmed by everything several times. I could simply go off the radar for all anyone knows. (Rather anyone will not know).

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