Okay, I did not want to write such a negative post since I follow the Law of Attraction. But, I feel I have to address this and accept it now, that I do get anxiety attacks and it is not a pretty picture.
I am not going to explain what panic attacks are, I hope you probably know it. If you don’t, Google is just one click away. I get panic attacks, I suffer from severe anxiety, I do not recognise myself in those moments or even hours of sheer terror. All I do is cry and cry.
I have seen my feet curl, my hands literally shake so much that I could not even hold a pen straight, my throat so choked that I could not talk for hours, knowing if I opened my mouth, I would start crying. And among all this, hiding it from people, afraid to tell on account of being called crazy. These panic attacks have made me, a straight A student, submit an incomplete assignment, run away from school and do the things I never imagined I would.
For me, there is mostly always a trigger. This time it was hearing that there was a probability that both my friends would shift out of school, which would technically leave me all alone. On hearing this, the anxiety immediately arose, though I had been completely free for a few weeks now. It stayed with me till my friend told me she was not leaving, she would continue in the same school as me. The panic left as fast as it had come.
Frankly, it does not feel good. It feels downright shitty to not be able to control all this, to feel so low and crazy. In those moments, my rational thoughts literally stop working and everything I know about the law of attraction seems to go down the drain. What this is, why it happens, I have no idea, because as soon as it stops I start working on bringing positive vibes into my adrenaline-filled body.